While driving into work I often contemplate life. Usually it's immediate life, what bills are due, where does everyone need to be today, what am I having for lunch. Sometimes I just get lost in the music. And sometimes, the music puzzles me. Today was a puzzling music day.
Now, I consider myself a pretty hip mom, at least musically. I can say that because hipster is actually a widely used genre currently, one that I like. I credit my mom with this ability. She believed you could learn a lot from your kids by the music they listen to, and although she came of age in the 50's, I recall many a Saturday morning listening to Bob Seger as we cleaned, and later, when I was the only one left at home, a little Michael Jackson Thriller could be heard. She never liked my taste in Metal, but she would yell upstairs - "Shut that off ! Do you even hear the lyrics?"
So back to me, the Hipster. I listen to a lot of what my kids do and I like most of it. On the ride in today I was listening to Alt Buffalo and I heard "Cecilia and the Satellite" by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness. It's cool I sing along with it often. Today, I really "heard" the lyrics, as my mom suggested so long ago.
"I'm the satellite, and you're the sky"
As pick up lines go, that sucks. As love songs go, even worse.
See, I bartend. It's not all I do, but it's a lot of who I am. My Grandmother did it, and although I barely new her, I feel most connected to her in that part of my life, but that's another story for another day. As a bartender, I hear pick up lines, some directed at me, some I just eaves drop in on. Some are funny, sincere, freaky. Some are inspired by songs and I love them all. Mostly because I genuinely love people, and the things they do make me laugh.
Back to my issue - "I'm the satellite, and you're the sky" What does that mean ? My impression and translation is something along the lines of -
I wanna penetrate your dark abyss with my blinky light?
Does anyone else hear that? I mean, I get it, times are changing. "Baby love, my baby love" doesn't really do it for today's youth. And T Swizzle nails it with "Love Story" but really only for main stream American High Schoolers. But if times have to change, do they have to be so creepy as well as techy ? As a self proclaimed hip mom, I still worry about my kids, their futures, and their love. I am fortunate, I come from love, and I am adored daily by the love of my life. And I want nothing less for them. I have a love like Johnny and June and I want it for them as well. So when I hear these lyrics, I'm concerned. I know there are a lot worse types of music out there, but this is what my kids listen to, and more importantly, what those they are interested in listen to.
So if "love" has to be techy and trendy to draw in the youth of today. Can it be a little less creepy and dark please. I mean maybe something like You're the SIM card to my cell, nothing works without you!
There you have it feel free to use that one the next time you are in a bar !
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Back so soon, I know right? It has me a little scared as well.
The events of this past weekend have me reeling. And I'm far from alone. And I won't go into detail. Quite frankly, I can barely say the words, and if I had to come back here and read them - that would just be torture.
But the aftermath, I can't process. So that is what needs to get out of me, cause having it in like always, feels as though it could literally end me.
Finding logic and positive in tragedy is what I do. It's how I cope. I look for positive in everyday. And it helps, it's a good way to live. Believing in Karma and a Higher Power. And this time is no different. I believe had I been closer to the actual events, I would not have been able to reach the point I am at. Again, I am not fine, or OK, just dealing, functioning.
So the good.
No children were involved or present to witness. That's huge.
An altered life existence, meaning paralysis or altered cognitive state, would not have been better, than death.
There is a plan, and we don't get a set of prints.
So here's the part I can't process.
I think my husband, children, parents, siblings and friends all know what I believe and how I feel about them. I try to be clear. And I resolve to write all of that down, soon, so there will be no question.
And I believe, after here there is somewhere, something, some existence. And I believe I am headed for a good place. I have made bad choices, but I hope they have not been that bad. I hope the jury reviews all the circumstances behind those choices, and finds me worthy of an enjoyable afterlife.
Now the sticky stuff -
What if someone I love isn't there?
What if someone incredibly important to me made a bad enough decision that they don't get that good afterlife? How can mine be as it should, if everyone that matters to me isn't there?
And that's it. Even the writing didn't help this time. Shit tits.
The events of this past weekend have me reeling. And I'm far from alone. And I won't go into detail. Quite frankly, I can barely say the words, and if I had to come back here and read them - that would just be torture.
But the aftermath, I can't process. So that is what needs to get out of me, cause having it in like always, feels as though it could literally end me.
Finding logic and positive in tragedy is what I do. It's how I cope. I look for positive in everyday. And it helps, it's a good way to live. Believing in Karma and a Higher Power. And this time is no different. I believe had I been closer to the actual events, I would not have been able to reach the point I am at. Again, I am not fine, or OK, just dealing, functioning.
So the good.
No children were involved or present to witness. That's huge.
An altered life existence, meaning paralysis or altered cognitive state, would not have been better, than death.
There is a plan, and we don't get a set of prints.
So here's the part I can't process.
I think my husband, children, parents, siblings and friends all know what I believe and how I feel about them. I try to be clear. And I resolve to write all of that down, soon, so there will be no question.
And I believe, after here there is somewhere, something, some existence. And I believe I am headed for a good place. I have made bad choices, but I hope they have not been that bad. I hope the jury reviews all the circumstances behind those choices, and finds me worthy of an enjoyable afterlife.
Now the sticky stuff -
What if someone I love isn't there?
What if someone incredibly important to me made a bad enough decision that they don't get that good afterlife? How can mine be as it should, if everyone that matters to me isn't there?
And that's it. Even the writing didn't help this time. Shit tits.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Once again, you have worked your magic. And now, Genie - you are free.
Here I am, back again. This time it's personal and public. I am sad. Comedic Actor Robin Williams ended his own life a few days ago. And it has been making me ill ever since. And the media, oh my ! Everything from sadness to anger to downright mean.
And then I got to thinking, isn't that exactly how suicide effects everyone tho? Differently? With anger, sadness, I guess hatred a bit too for some.
It has been nearly 22 years since my cousin ended his life. And I still feel most of the same feelings today as I did that moment. The sheer shock of course is gone, that was actually the only feeling that passed. The pain of his loss. The sense of failure as a family. The anger. That's right. I was angry. I still am. Few people know that. I guess I felt bad for feeling that way. But, I did and I still do. I even used the word selfish once or twice.
We are not a wealthy bunch. We have our fair share of issues and addictions in this family. But we LOVE each other and we care for each other. We TAKE care OF each other. And so, I have always felt that the pain Mikey put us through was so unfair. So selfish. Selfish to not fight for us, for his kids, and especially for his mom. I had become a mother myself just 6 short weeks before he passed, and I think that played a large role in my anger. How could he do that to her, of all people ? He didn't stay around to help care for her, and he certainly didn't show his love for us.
And then on Monday, August 11, 2014, Robin Williams died, by his own hand. Again, shock and sadness. But no anger. No hatred. Why? Maybe he was not my family, but he played a huge role in the lives of my family. He was our Hook, our Genie, my Mork ( I mean who didn't have a crush on Mork) and so much more. So why wasn't I angry? Just sad.
I have read countless tributes. From his own daughter, to social media snipits from nearly everyone I know and then some. I have avoided all of the negative. All of the urging people to call for help, suicide isn't the answer. I thought that was because I believed so wholeheartedly that he should be celebrated for his life's work, not a poster child in his death.
And then an old friend posted a link on Facebook. She urged people to realize that suicide is not selfish. She urged people to call for help. She was just as close to my cousin as we were. And she said she never once felt like he was selfish for what he did. So why did I feel that way. Why, after almost 22 years am I still angry with him, and yet I defend a celebrity for the same actions.
The answer is - I don't know. But what I do know, is I am the one being selfish. IMaybe it was easier to be angry with him, to blame him, than to pick up the pieces and help everyone mourn him. Help my family. It was easier than taking care of my family in his absence.
And it was wrong.
And I am moving past it now.
And I am sorry to my family for ever having those feelings. And I am sorry to myself for holding onto them.
Once again, I come here when I can't move past something. And once again, the writing it down helps. I like it here. This is my therapy, and it works. I think my sadness the last few days has been 22 years in the making.
I am truly sorry Mikey, for the things I have screamed at you inside my head. I hope you can forgive me. And more than anything, I hope you are free.
And then I got to thinking, isn't that exactly how suicide effects everyone tho? Differently? With anger, sadness, I guess hatred a bit too for some.
It has been nearly 22 years since my cousin ended his life. And I still feel most of the same feelings today as I did that moment. The sheer shock of course is gone, that was actually the only feeling that passed. The pain of his loss. The sense of failure as a family. The anger. That's right. I was angry. I still am. Few people know that. I guess I felt bad for feeling that way. But, I did and I still do. I even used the word selfish once or twice.
We are not a wealthy bunch. We have our fair share of issues and addictions in this family. But we LOVE each other and we care for each other. We TAKE care OF each other. And so, I have always felt that the pain Mikey put us through was so unfair. So selfish. Selfish to not fight for us, for his kids, and especially for his mom. I had become a mother myself just 6 short weeks before he passed, and I think that played a large role in my anger. How could he do that to her, of all people ? He didn't stay around to help care for her, and he certainly didn't show his love for us.
And then on Monday, August 11, 2014, Robin Williams died, by his own hand. Again, shock and sadness. But no anger. No hatred. Why? Maybe he was not my family, but he played a huge role in the lives of my family. He was our Hook, our Genie, my Mork ( I mean who didn't have a crush on Mork) and so much more. So why wasn't I angry? Just sad.
I have read countless tributes. From his own daughter, to social media snipits from nearly everyone I know and then some. I have avoided all of the negative. All of the urging people to call for help, suicide isn't the answer. I thought that was because I believed so wholeheartedly that he should be celebrated for his life's work, not a poster child in his death.
And then an old friend posted a link on Facebook. She urged people to realize that suicide is not selfish. She urged people to call for help. She was just as close to my cousin as we were. And she said she never once felt like he was selfish for what he did. So why did I feel that way. Why, after almost 22 years am I still angry with him, and yet I defend a celebrity for the same actions.
The answer is - I don't know. But what I do know, is I am the one being selfish. IMaybe it was easier to be angry with him, to blame him, than to pick up the pieces and help everyone mourn him. Help my family. It was easier than taking care of my family in his absence.
And it was wrong.
And I am moving past it now.
And I am sorry to my family for ever having those feelings. And I am sorry to myself for holding onto them.
Once again, I come here when I can't move past something. And once again, the writing it down helps. I like it here. This is my therapy, and it works. I think my sadness the last few days has been 22 years in the making.
I am truly sorry Mikey, for the things I have screamed at you inside my head. I hope you can forgive me. And more than anything, I hope you are free.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
"New"
I imagine much blogging is happening around the world on this day of firsts. All of the resolve and such. Me, I'm just trying to find my place, as usual. I mean I'm good. 2013 was great, I expect nothing less of 2014. There were ups and downs, and there are certain to be more of the same. And I have goals and dreams, things I would like to change. But no different than everyday.
If I could bottle this feeling, that "anything is possible in this new chapter " feeling, I would be rich. And I suppose,in a way we can, "bottle" it I mean. What if everyone were to remember this feeling, and realize that everyday,week,month offers a new start? Because, in reality it does. I mean, not from major mistakes like murder obviously, but from that one cigarette tomorrow, so what ~ have a glass of water, and start over. Be grateful for making it two days, dont beat yourself up for one cigarette and certainly don't change your goal.
It's sort of like other warm feelings, love and happiness. We know those good feelings, we like them, and we do things to try and experience those emotions more. So why not do that with "new." It's a good feeling, so strive to keep it.
Good luck with your resolve, me, I resolve to keep that new start feeling alive.
If I could bottle this feeling, that "anything is possible in this new chapter " feeling, I would be rich. And I suppose,in a way we can, "bottle" it I mean. What if everyone were to remember this feeling, and realize that everyday,week,month offers a new start? Because, in reality it does. I mean, not from major mistakes like murder obviously, but from that one cigarette tomorrow, so what ~ have a glass of water, and start over. Be grateful for making it two days, dont beat yourself up for one cigarette and certainly don't change your goal.
It's sort of like other warm feelings, love and happiness. We know those good feelings, we like them, and we do things to try and experience those emotions more. So why not do that with "new." It's a good feeling, so strive to keep it.
Good luck with your resolve, me, I resolve to keep that new start feeling alive.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Shoes
A woman, writing about shoes. I know right? How cliché? Is that even how you spell that?
I was trying to sleep last night, and get ready for work this morning, and these thoughts were just swirling. Now as I sit eating lunch at my desk in a completely empty office, I think - better out than in - so here goes.
You know the age old adage "Walk a mile in my shoes...." I like it. One of my favorites because I am such a fan of not judging others. But I also think sometimes..."What the hell are you doing in those shoes?"
I mean really, if you need to ask people to walk in your shoes, it is likely because they are judging you. But sometimes, it is that your shoes don't fit, or are inappropriate, and they have resulted your panties being in a bunch. See how the whole outfit has to come together?
So if the panties are your emotions, the shoes are likely relationships - be them personal or professional. And if you end up with the wrong sandals because you paid less, do I really need to walk in them to understand you? Or can I simply see by the loose, frayed straps and rusted buckle that they really aren't good for anyone?
Did you even think about where you were headed or what you needed to accomplish before you chose those four inch stilettos? I mean yeah, they look great - but can they do anything else?
And Loafers? really ? All they accomplish is literally in the title.
Now a good work boot, now we are talking. I said a GOOD work boot. Not some made in Japan, vinyl model with no reinforcement for the tough jobs. No. I am talking about genuine leather with stitched seams, one that will be around for years and years, all the while providing comfort and support.
Flip Flops. Again I say really? Pay attention to the indecisive nature before you think you are getting far in those. They flip, and flop. Enough said.
There is nothing wrong with a good, sensible shoe either. Just try to be sure it is also of good quality and a little flashy embellishment or color never hurt either.
Sneakers. Are you getting my drift? all you need to know is in the title.
Now mind you. Let's say you have found the perfect shoes. And then you wear them everywhere, day in and day out, and you climb through mud and you kick stones. If you never wash them or polish them or give them a break, and they fall to pieces, that's on you. Take care of the good things when you find them.
So choose your shoes wisely folks, after all without them, you can't get any service.
Phew ! I feel better. back to work... Have a lovely day !
I was trying to sleep last night, and get ready for work this morning, and these thoughts were just swirling. Now as I sit eating lunch at my desk in a completely empty office, I think - better out than in - so here goes.
You know the age old adage "Walk a mile in my shoes...." I like it. One of my favorites because I am such a fan of not judging others. But I also think sometimes..."What the hell are you doing in those shoes?"
I mean really, if you need to ask people to walk in your shoes, it is likely because they are judging you. But sometimes, it is that your shoes don't fit, or are inappropriate, and they have resulted your panties being in a bunch. See how the whole outfit has to come together?
So if the panties are your emotions, the shoes are likely relationships - be them personal or professional. And if you end up with the wrong sandals because you paid less, do I really need to walk in them to understand you? Or can I simply see by the loose, frayed straps and rusted buckle that they really aren't good for anyone?
Did you even think about where you were headed or what you needed to accomplish before you chose those four inch stilettos? I mean yeah, they look great - but can they do anything else?
And Loafers? really ? All they accomplish is literally in the title.
Now a good work boot, now we are talking. I said a GOOD work boot. Not some made in Japan, vinyl model with no reinforcement for the tough jobs. No. I am talking about genuine leather with stitched seams, one that will be around for years and years, all the while providing comfort and support.
Flip Flops. Again I say really? Pay attention to the indecisive nature before you think you are getting far in those. They flip, and flop. Enough said.
There is nothing wrong with a good, sensible shoe either. Just try to be sure it is also of good quality and a little flashy embellishment or color never hurt either.
Sneakers. Are you getting my drift? all you need to know is in the title.
Now mind you. Let's say you have found the perfect shoes. And then you wear them everywhere, day in and day out, and you climb through mud and you kick stones. If you never wash them or polish them or give them a break, and they fall to pieces, that's on you. Take care of the good things when you find them.
So choose your shoes wisely folks, after all without them, you can't get any service.
Phew ! I feel better. back to work... Have a lovely day !
Monday, April 23, 2012
Young Love
It has been a year since I started this page. Not many posts or views or followers since then, but I find this space to be a bit of a security blanket for me. I always know it is here if I need to get the thoughts out.
I went back to read the few words I have left here, and I noticed a trend, I am struggling over one thing or another and then I get better and I write. Today is much different. I am struggling and not getting better. So I am here to put some words down, in the hopes it will lift my spirits up.
I find parenting to be unbearable right now. Mostly because I feel as though I am failing. Not in a negligent, we are here to take your kids kinda way, but failing none the less. I am not helping them reach their potential and I have no idea how to change things and the weight of the responsibility is unlike any other.
A steadfast rule in our parenting, one that has always proved to be very affective and that I credit to my husband, is that in order to teach them hot, you have to let them get a little burnt. Again, no need to send the authorities, the children are not being scorched over flames. However, we did let them get just close enough to the flames to feel the heat so they would truly understand.
So why then does our daughter continue to jump right into the flames ?
It is pretty easy to answer that one. Because she loves him. Because she is a teenage girl in a small town and everyone has someone and she gets bored and lonely. Because in this small town she is a minority and does not get noticed much by other than him. I get all that. I remember that age, those feelings. I don't expect that she will believe that I understand, after all I am the mom and I don't know anything. But I get it.
Another thing we have always tried to instill in our children is to be good. Not the hands on the lap kinda good - manners were never a strong point for us. But really good. In their heart, at their core. I have always said they could be gas station attendants if they wanted, as long as they are good to themselves and to others.
So why then is she attracted to, and more importantly trust, someone who can hurt her and her loved ones so easily ?
Not as easy to get. Of course I realize young love can hurt. And kids make mistakes when they are learning to be friends and lovers. But this is very different. This has been the typical, date and break up that comes with high school. But it is also, you made me angry - so I lashed out to hurt you back. It's cheating and lying. Repeatedly. It's reeling in and casting away. It's defiance toward the rest of the family. He actually told me once a year ago when I asked that he leave her be, that she is a big girl and can make her own decisions. He recently posted to facebook that he does not care who he upsets or makes angry when he tells the world that he loves her. Other teens find it romantic, I find it frightening. He has broken her spirit, and repeatedly disrupted all of our lives, and he does not even have the decency to apologize. Actually, he did recently apologize, only to me, not to my sons, my husband, her best friend, or any of the countless others that are involves. And it was lame. He did it because it is one of the things I told my daughter I am angry about. And it was far from heartfelt. And far from good.
The teen years have only swayed our parenting rules slightly. Years ago we swore there was no need for cell phones before 16. Only one of the three waited that long. But there are lots of new rules that need to be made and enforced and fine tuned. Curfews and the like. And I am thinking other rules just have not been harsh enough.
Should we have blocked him after the second or third or fourth indiscretion ?
It is fact that this destructive behavior continues to happen because we allow her to decide if she wants him in her life. We have not forbidden a relationship. And it is becoming clear to me as I watch CSI type television, that we should have. Although his parents are friends, we have not gone to them with all the details strictly because I feel it is very unnecessary to hurt another parent with painful details of their child's poor judgement. Probably another mistake. We have not confronted him enough. This I feel is still the right thing to do. I think if we expose our concerns he will be more likely to disguise his poor judgement in those areas.
I also think I am somewhat embarrassed about how things appear from the outside and yet I can't find a way to clarify my actions, and more importantly, I can't find my usual confidence that allows me to not give a shit what others think. Then again putting the words down has helped me see our mistakes and better yet reaffirmed my confidence in most of our decisions during this process.
At this point, I am mostly frightened. Maybe it's the dramatic cop show, but I am really scared that she could be at risk. Daddy has told her to protect herself. But does she know what we mean by that? I am not sure. That she should guard her heart and her future? I suppose mostly I am frighteded that this run, unlike the others that have a record of about 6 months, will last into marriage and kids before he hurts her again.
I went back to read the few words I have left here, and I noticed a trend, I am struggling over one thing or another and then I get better and I write. Today is much different. I am struggling and not getting better. So I am here to put some words down, in the hopes it will lift my spirits up.
I find parenting to be unbearable right now. Mostly because I feel as though I am failing. Not in a negligent, we are here to take your kids kinda way, but failing none the less. I am not helping them reach their potential and I have no idea how to change things and the weight of the responsibility is unlike any other.
A steadfast rule in our parenting, one that has always proved to be very affective and that I credit to my husband, is that in order to teach them hot, you have to let them get a little burnt. Again, no need to send the authorities, the children are not being scorched over flames. However, we did let them get just close enough to the flames to feel the heat so they would truly understand.
So why then does our daughter continue to jump right into the flames ?
It is pretty easy to answer that one. Because she loves him. Because she is a teenage girl in a small town and everyone has someone and she gets bored and lonely. Because in this small town she is a minority and does not get noticed much by other than him. I get all that. I remember that age, those feelings. I don't expect that she will believe that I understand, after all I am the mom and I don't know anything. But I get it.
Another thing we have always tried to instill in our children is to be good. Not the hands on the lap kinda good - manners were never a strong point for us. But really good. In their heart, at their core. I have always said they could be gas station attendants if they wanted, as long as they are good to themselves and to others.
So why then is she attracted to, and more importantly trust, someone who can hurt her and her loved ones so easily ?
Not as easy to get. Of course I realize young love can hurt. And kids make mistakes when they are learning to be friends and lovers. But this is very different. This has been the typical, date and break up that comes with high school. But it is also, you made me angry - so I lashed out to hurt you back. It's cheating and lying. Repeatedly. It's reeling in and casting away. It's defiance toward the rest of the family. He actually told me once a year ago when I asked that he leave her be, that she is a big girl and can make her own decisions. He recently posted to facebook that he does not care who he upsets or makes angry when he tells the world that he loves her. Other teens find it romantic, I find it frightening. He has broken her spirit, and repeatedly disrupted all of our lives, and he does not even have the decency to apologize. Actually, he did recently apologize, only to me, not to my sons, my husband, her best friend, or any of the countless others that are involves. And it was lame. He did it because it is one of the things I told my daughter I am angry about. And it was far from heartfelt. And far from good.
The teen years have only swayed our parenting rules slightly. Years ago we swore there was no need for cell phones before 16. Only one of the three waited that long. But there are lots of new rules that need to be made and enforced and fine tuned. Curfews and the like. And I am thinking other rules just have not been harsh enough.
Should we have blocked him after the second or third or fourth indiscretion ?
It is fact that this destructive behavior continues to happen because we allow her to decide if she wants him in her life. We have not forbidden a relationship. And it is becoming clear to me as I watch CSI type television, that we should have. Although his parents are friends, we have not gone to them with all the details strictly because I feel it is very unnecessary to hurt another parent with painful details of their child's poor judgement. Probably another mistake. We have not confronted him enough. This I feel is still the right thing to do. I think if we expose our concerns he will be more likely to disguise his poor judgement in those areas.
I also think I am somewhat embarrassed about how things appear from the outside and yet I can't find a way to clarify my actions, and more importantly, I can't find my usual confidence that allows me to not give a shit what others think. Then again putting the words down has helped me see our mistakes and better yet reaffirmed my confidence in most of our decisions during this process.
At this point, I am mostly frightened. Maybe it's the dramatic cop show, but I am really scared that she could be at risk. Daddy has told her to protect herself. But does she know what we mean by that? I am not sure. That she should guard her heart and her future? I suppose mostly I am frighteded that this run, unlike the others that have a record of about 6 months, will last into marriage and kids before he hurts her again.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Parenting
Today was one of those days when I started out down and one or two people gave me seemingly small compliments that just changed my whole outlook. I love those kind of days, so much more so than the ones where you wake feeling invincible and then it all goes to hell when you get to the car and realize you need gas, which reminds me...
Anywho, a friend posted on facebook a story of her and her husband being complimented in public about their children's awesome public behavior and how that was a reflection of their great parenting. (which I absolutely agree with - that they are great parents!) And then another special someone dropped me a compliment on my parenting, all while some other very wonderful people in my life are having one of the hardest days a parent can have - celebrating a birthday for a deceased child. And people actually believe there is not a higher power or connection between all of us humans.
So these turn of events got me thinking about parenting and it's challenges and how regardless of how my day is going, I am truly blessed to be a parent, three times over. I began thinking how we never know if we are getting it right, we have to just keep parenting and cross our fingers. Now of course, we change some methods based on the age of the child, although 16 is alot like 2, time out really doesn't work very well these days. Or we change them with the changing times, spanking in public gets you a nice vacation, although courtesy of the State, and who would have ever thought all three kids would have cell phones, my youngest by 13! But successful parenting relies mainly in the basic rules that you hold to, no matter what.
One of our basic rules that we rely on during all decision making as parents, Raise what God gave you, not what you thought you wanted. I wanted a blond hair blue eyed curly Q - I was given not one! I always thought I would have football players - none there either. What did I get? One of the greatest minds of our time, and he has been out smarting me since he is three. A cheerleader - farthest from my understanding or interests as a woman. And the one that always hears a different beat.
So do I dye their hair and put them on the football field? No. I try to stay on my toes and listen to all the great mind has to say in the hopes that he will continue to teach me for the rest of my life. I learned cheerleading, I coached it and I help her choreograph her own routines - because she loves it, so I love it. I listen for that beat and try to help the youngest follow it to success - after all no one really understood Elvis's beat at first either.
Please don't think I solely define my children by these traits. They are so much more and I know this. I am merely trying to illustrate a point. Parent for who they are, not who you are. After all, you won't be heading out for a bushel of strawberries to carve up this Halloween any more than you would have put squash between the whipped cream and short cake last 4th of July. I never put the genius on the football field any more than I expected the girl to take up boxing, and I let the undecided try everything until he finds what suits him. (Of course insisting he always finish what he starts - another basic rule for another blog)
Happy parenting and God forbid you take them to the end of their life, hold your head up knowing you did your best to help them be them.
Thanks to my niece for the parenting compliment that helped reset my day and attitude. And thanks to the good friend that finds my voice at the top of her musical inspirations - MUSIC, now there is a topic for another day.
Anywho, a friend posted on facebook a story of her and her husband being complimented in public about their children's awesome public behavior and how that was a reflection of their great parenting. (which I absolutely agree with - that they are great parents!) And then another special someone dropped me a compliment on my parenting, all while some other very wonderful people in my life are having one of the hardest days a parent can have - celebrating a birthday for a deceased child. And people actually believe there is not a higher power or connection between all of us humans.
So these turn of events got me thinking about parenting and it's challenges and how regardless of how my day is going, I am truly blessed to be a parent, three times over. I began thinking how we never know if we are getting it right, we have to just keep parenting and cross our fingers. Now of course, we change some methods based on the age of the child, although 16 is alot like 2, time out really doesn't work very well these days. Or we change them with the changing times, spanking in public gets you a nice vacation, although courtesy of the State, and who would have ever thought all three kids would have cell phones, my youngest by 13! But successful parenting relies mainly in the basic rules that you hold to, no matter what.
One of our basic rules that we rely on during all decision making as parents, Raise what God gave you, not what you thought you wanted. I wanted a blond hair blue eyed curly Q - I was given not one! I always thought I would have football players - none there either. What did I get? One of the greatest minds of our time, and he has been out smarting me since he is three. A cheerleader - farthest from my understanding or interests as a woman. And the one that always hears a different beat.
So do I dye their hair and put them on the football field? No. I try to stay on my toes and listen to all the great mind has to say in the hopes that he will continue to teach me for the rest of my life. I learned cheerleading, I coached it and I help her choreograph her own routines - because she loves it, so I love it. I listen for that beat and try to help the youngest follow it to success - after all no one really understood Elvis's beat at first either.
Please don't think I solely define my children by these traits. They are so much more and I know this. I am merely trying to illustrate a point. Parent for who they are, not who you are. After all, you won't be heading out for a bushel of strawberries to carve up this Halloween any more than you would have put squash between the whipped cream and short cake last 4th of July. I never put the genius on the football field any more than I expected the girl to take up boxing, and I let the undecided try everything until he finds what suits him. (Of course insisting he always finish what he starts - another basic rule for another blog)
Happy parenting and God forbid you take them to the end of their life, hold your head up knowing you did your best to help them be them.
Thanks to my niece for the parenting compliment that helped reset my day and attitude. And thanks to the good friend that finds my voice at the top of her musical inspirations - MUSIC, now there is a topic for another day.
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