Today was one of those days when I started out down and one or two people gave me seemingly small compliments that just changed my whole outlook. I love those kind of days, so much more so than the ones where you wake feeling invincible and then it all goes to hell when you get to the car and realize you need gas, which reminds me...
Anywho, a friend posted on facebook a story of her and her husband being complimented in public about their children's awesome public behavior and how that was a reflection of their great parenting. (which I absolutely agree with - that they are great parents!) And then another special someone dropped me a compliment on my parenting, all while some other very wonderful people in my life are having one of the hardest days a parent can have - celebrating a birthday for a deceased child. And people actually believe there is not a higher power or connection between all of us humans.
So these turn of events got me thinking about parenting and it's challenges and how regardless of how my day is going, I am truly blessed to be a parent, three times over. I began thinking how we never know if we are getting it right, we have to just keep parenting and cross our fingers. Now of course, we change some methods based on the age of the child, although 16 is alot like 2, time out really doesn't work very well these days. Or we change them with the changing times, spanking in public gets you a nice vacation, although courtesy of the State, and who would have ever thought all three kids would have cell phones, my youngest by 13! But successful parenting relies mainly in the basic rules that you hold to, no matter what.
One of our basic rules that we rely on during all decision making as parents, Raise what God gave you, not what you thought you wanted. I wanted a blond hair blue eyed curly Q - I was given not one! I always thought I would have football players - none there either. What did I get? One of the greatest minds of our time, and he has been out smarting me since he is three. A cheerleader - farthest from my understanding or interests as a woman. And the one that always hears a different beat.
So do I dye their hair and put them on the football field? No. I try to stay on my toes and listen to all the great mind has to say in the hopes that he will continue to teach me for the rest of my life. I learned cheerleading, I coached it and I help her choreograph her own routines - because she loves it, so I love it. I listen for that beat and try to help the youngest follow it to success - after all no one really understood Elvis's beat at first either.
Please don't think I solely define my children by these traits. They are so much more and I know this. I am merely trying to illustrate a point. Parent for who they are, not who you are. After all, you won't be heading out for a bushel of strawberries to carve up this Halloween any more than you would have put squash between the whipped cream and short cake last 4th of July. I never put the genius on the football field any more than I expected the girl to take up boxing, and I let the undecided try everything until he finds what suits him. (Of course insisting he always finish what he starts - another basic rule for another blog)
Happy parenting and God forbid you take them to the end of their life, hold your head up knowing you did your best to help them be them.
Thanks to my niece for the parenting compliment that helped reset my day and attitude. And thanks to the good friend that finds my voice at the top of her musical inspirations - MUSIC, now there is a topic for another day.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Inspiration
Funny how you can be inspired and motivated at the strangest times, in the most unexpected places. During a breakfast celebration for students that have achieved Honor Roll this morning, the Teacher of the Year gave a speech to the students. This is customary at this event, but the speech was anything but ordinary. Often when a speech is regarded as great, it is because of the words. In this case, it was rather the message. Although the words and the flow of the speech were not rehearsed, the message came through concise and clear. The speaker spoke, not of his profession as a teacher, not of his concentration in math, not of his passion for sports or competitive math, but of art, and Italy, and the Great Michelangelo.
The Teacher of the Year's first inspiration came as he discussed his summer trip with his wife to Italy. Inspiring in and of itself, because it is rare that such a young educator would be in the position for world travel. Although maybe not evident to the students, this is an obvious indication of his drive to succeed. He then talked about the works of Michelangelo. Again an obvious inspiration, but with a new spin. He spoke of how the artist worked all day on one piece of work because he was being paid, and at night on another because it was his passion. The inspiration being this, hard work. Although the artist had achieved success and was being commissioned for his work, he strove in his own time for more, for the masterpiece. The speaker then equated this to the lives of the students. He congratulated the students on their obvious achievements, hence the mention on Honor Roll and the Breakfast Celebration. However, he also reminded them that tens of thousands of hours of work are required by those that achieve greatness. He asked the students to consider what their Masterpiece would be, and reminded them that they would need to continue to work hard in order to continue to achieve.
The speech was refreshing in that not only did it recognize and praise achievement, the goal of the function, but also inspire, and not just the students. Anytime children are honored for achievements, it invokes a sense of achievement for the parents. I have attended approximately 15 of these events in past years and hope to be invited to another 5 or so in the future. But this particular speech got me thinking. I have three pretty great masterpieces of my own, my children. I attend these events with some friends at the high school level and others at the middle school level, but it is rare that anyone has the honor of attending at both levels as I regularly do. I have logged in the extra hours, some just last night in fact. Earlier this week, I was told one teacher was surprised to hear that we had never spanked our three children. Surprised because she finds them to be "good" kids and research shows that is hard to get without corporal punishment. But this morning, I was educated by the Teacher of the Year. My eyes were opened to the fact that maybe I don't have a best selling novel, and maybe our attempt at business ownership did not succeed, but as parents we have nearly achieved Masterpiece. Of course we have years to go and the possibility for additional achievements other than children, but today I recognize and praise mine and my husband's achievements as parents, and am inspired and motivated to get through another day parenting teens.
The Teacher of the Year's first inspiration came as he discussed his summer trip with his wife to Italy. Inspiring in and of itself, because it is rare that such a young educator would be in the position for world travel. Although maybe not evident to the students, this is an obvious indication of his drive to succeed. He then talked about the works of Michelangelo. Again an obvious inspiration, but with a new spin. He spoke of how the artist worked all day on one piece of work because he was being paid, and at night on another because it was his passion. The inspiration being this, hard work. Although the artist had achieved success and was being commissioned for his work, he strove in his own time for more, for the masterpiece. The speaker then equated this to the lives of the students. He congratulated the students on their obvious achievements, hence the mention on Honor Roll and the Breakfast Celebration. However, he also reminded them that tens of thousands of hours of work are required by those that achieve greatness. He asked the students to consider what their Masterpiece would be, and reminded them that they would need to continue to work hard in order to continue to achieve.
The speech was refreshing in that not only did it recognize and praise achievement, the goal of the function, but also inspire, and not just the students. Anytime children are honored for achievements, it invokes a sense of achievement for the parents. I have attended approximately 15 of these events in past years and hope to be invited to another 5 or so in the future. But this particular speech got me thinking. I have three pretty great masterpieces of my own, my children. I attend these events with some friends at the high school level and others at the middle school level, but it is rare that anyone has the honor of attending at both levels as I regularly do. I have logged in the extra hours, some just last night in fact. Earlier this week, I was told one teacher was surprised to hear that we had never spanked our three children. Surprised because she finds them to be "good" kids and research shows that is hard to get without corporal punishment. But this morning, I was educated by the Teacher of the Year. My eyes were opened to the fact that maybe I don't have a best selling novel, and maybe our attempt at business ownership did not succeed, but as parents we have nearly achieved Masterpiece. Of course we have years to go and the possibility for additional achievements other than children, but today I recognize and praise mine and my husband's achievements as parents, and am inspired and motivated to get through another day parenting teens.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Celebrate
It is so curious what binds us all. Where we have been. Where are we headed. Whom is in our lives. Whom has drifted away. And most importantly, whom has been forcibly removed.
Whom is in our lives - that is at the forefront of thought for the day. Current trend seems to be to count one's "Friends", who has the most in their " Book ". To be reminded daily of who is at the top of the list today is a common desire. " It's fill in the blank's Birthday! " And etiquette tells you to be sure to recognize that person on that special day. But what of those that are gone from society? How do we remember and keep them close? Who reminds us to celebrate, the one that has been removed from the forefront.
Today is Jodi's birthday, and would have marked her 42nd year of life, but rather, it is the 4th year since her death. When I started this day, as so many other days, I checked in with "friends" to see what everyone was up to. It occurred to me then that some very special people in my life were celebrating a birthday today. It occurred to me that they entered my life for very different reasons, under various circumstances, only now do I see this new connection. Celebration.
I will always miss Jodi for who she was to me, but more for who she was to those dear to me, and what they have lost with her passing. But more than miss her and mourn her, I choose to celebrate her. During her 38 years of life, she was nothing if not honest - but always encouraging. Her truthful perspective could guide you with such ease, a guardian angel of sorts, if that is your belief. So why in 4 short years is it so hard to still let her guide? I know what she would have said about some decisions, and honestly, she would have been right. So knowing this, it should be easy to do the right things. Although life is changing, and society is changing, and my people are growing and changing, one truth remains. When faced with decision, let your guide help you decide as she would have if she were alive - with knowledge. Educate and decide, rather than panic and react.
So there it is. My celebration. I am doing the right thing, by doing the Write Thing. It is not a venture in success, just one of survival. Because as scary as it is to be judged by your thoughts, it is so much more painful to repress them.
And it is my sincere hope that you will find something to celebrate today too.
Whom is in our lives - that is at the forefront of thought for the day. Current trend seems to be to count one's "Friends", who has the most in their " Book ". To be reminded daily of who is at the top of the list today is a common desire. " It's fill in the blank's Birthday! " And etiquette tells you to be sure to recognize that person on that special day. But what of those that are gone from society? How do we remember and keep them close? Who reminds us to celebrate, the one that has been removed from the forefront.
Today is Jodi's birthday, and would have marked her 42nd year of life, but rather, it is the 4th year since her death. When I started this day, as so many other days, I checked in with "friends" to see what everyone was up to. It occurred to me then that some very special people in my life were celebrating a birthday today. It occurred to me that they entered my life for very different reasons, under various circumstances, only now do I see this new connection. Celebration.
I will always miss Jodi for who she was to me, but more for who she was to those dear to me, and what they have lost with her passing. But more than miss her and mourn her, I choose to celebrate her. During her 38 years of life, she was nothing if not honest - but always encouraging. Her truthful perspective could guide you with such ease, a guardian angel of sorts, if that is your belief. So why in 4 short years is it so hard to still let her guide? I know what she would have said about some decisions, and honestly, she would have been right. So knowing this, it should be easy to do the right things. Although life is changing, and society is changing, and my people are growing and changing, one truth remains. When faced with decision, let your guide help you decide as she would have if she were alive - with knowledge. Educate and decide, rather than panic and react.
So there it is. My celebration. I am doing the right thing, by doing the Write Thing. It is not a venture in success, just one of survival. Because as scary as it is to be judged by your thoughts, it is so much more painful to repress them.
And it is my sincere hope that you will find something to celebrate today too.
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